“I wish I didn’t have to sleep.”
The first time I heard someone say this was during an icebreaker exercise at first-year orientation in college. I wish I could say it was the last. The icebreaker question was “what superpower do you wish you had?” My response? Probably flight, or maybe apparition (a la Harry Potter). But in my orientation small group, multiple people expressed an interest in turning their sleeping hours into productivity time.
Which, on the one hand, I get. Hard work is generally rewarded, and exhaustion or burnout is really frustrating, so not needing to sleep seems like a natural conclusion. Less sleep, more work, more success, more money, better life.
But in the words of the great Ali Wong, “I don’t want to lean in, I just want to lie down.” Naps, rest, sleep, relaxing… who would want to eliminate that from their life? Isn’t rest the goal? Isn’t rest the little taste of heaven that we work for?? Even God rested on the seventh day of creation!
I guess if I were to put it another way: would you rather be able to work as hard as the world forced you to work (ceaselessly) or live in a world that could support you regardless of how hard you were able to work? Would you rather never rest or be assured that your rest was free and unconditionally good? Would you prefer a life free of naps or a life free of hustling?1
The Nap Ministry
My favorite Instagram follow is @thenapministry. Tricia Hersey, also known as “The Nap Bishop,” preaches a gospel of rest, of resistance against the various structures of oppression (capitalism, racism, misogyny, etc.) that prevent us from resting. Her challenge is less to take a nap here or there than to do away with grind culture altogether. Hersey asks us to reject our need to produce, to strive harder, to break our bodies and spirits for the sake of the dollar or the boss. Just lie down. The world will keep spinning. Your work will be there when you awake. But for now, just rest. Lay down the physical/mental/spiritual load of hustling, and just be yourself at rest.
There’s so much more to say about Hersey’s philosophy and teaching, and I strongly urge you to pick up a copy of her new book — Rest is Resistance.2
It’s worth acknowledging: this posture of rejecting hustle culture and embracing rest is not as niche as it was a few years ago. It’s become trendy to tout your commitment to self-care, being anti-capital, etc. But the reality of the situation, as much as Hersey is correct and prophetic, is that we still need to pay the bills.
The first and most common refrain that I’ve heard when I try to explain the wisdom of the Nap Bishop is “well it sure would be nice to rest, but these bills won’t pay themselves.” Rent is still due the first of every month, the heat needs to stay on, someone has to pay the mortgage… on and on.
All of which is true! Hersey isn’t trying to convince folks to shirk on their responsibilities or skip bill payments. Instead, she’s casting a vision for what kind of life is worth living: one that is not run on the schedule of bosses or tasks or bills, but in rhythm with our own bodies and spirits and loved ones.
A place to rest
I don’t think I can understate how much I appreciate the Nap Ministry, the Nap Bishop, Tricia Hersey, and all of the growing calls to reject hustle culture. Whether it’s under the banner of naps or sabbath or self-care or whatever else: I’m a firm believer in the value of liberation from the hustle of the market and freedom for doing whatever you and your loved ones desire. And this is exactly why I am so committed to helping people find homes and places where they can rest.
How does this affect the real estate process? Well, more than anything else, let me recommend that you 1. know your budget and 2. shop below your budget.
This is counterintuitive for most people, and definitely counterproductive for me as a real estate agent (as I’ll make less money from commissions on smaller sales, lol), but I stand by it: aside from location and structure, the finances of your home — whether renting or buying — are pretty much a given. You decide once what kind of financial commitment you’ll have to your home, and then you’re stuck with it, whether on a 12 month lease or a 30 year mortgage. The one moment where you have a chance to relieve the pressure of a high housing payment is during the renting or buying process.
Too many clients I’ve worked with shop right at the upper edge of their budgets, trying to squeeze as much house as possible out of whatever the bank approves them to pay. While I empathize with the attitude (a nice interior and location can be a great relief to come home to after work!), I generally advise my clients to shop well below the upper limit of their budget.
Even if they ultimately purchase something more expensive, who knows: maybe you’ll find something more affordable that still checks all the boxes at a lower price point! That extra space in your budget isn’t just being financially prudent for the sake of retirement or whatever: shopping at a lower price point points towards flexibility, financial autonomy, and future freedom from being bound to a strenuous schedule of bills. Essentially, I’m hoping my clients can buy houses where they can take naps. I want everyone to be able to take a break and not feel like their whole living situation will collapse if they slow down.
KPI: Naps
The acronym “KPI,” Key Performance Indicator, is common jargon in the business world. Basically, which single number can you boil your activities down to, such that an increase in that number means your business is succeeding and a decrease in that number means your business is declining?
There are many schools of thought for real estate agents, and I have a few that I need to track for myself (specifically, how many buyer clients do I show at least two houses). But the KPI that really gets me excited in the long run is how many naps you can take in your home. If the number of naps is increasing, then good things are happening in your home. Napping implies:
a space to yourself, away from noise and commotion
a sense of ease and grace, such that sleeping is acceptable
a balance of responsibilities (bills, kids, errands) with margin for attending to the self
More than anything else, a nap implies that you don’t need to hustle. A nap signifies that your life is sustainable enough that you don’t need to break your body or spirit to keep your ecosystem of inputs, outputs, and relationships going. Naps are an indicator of freedom.
The alternative, of course, is terrifying. Imagine a home where you could not nap. Not being able to nap would imply:
No space to yourself, being in the middle of noise and commotion
No ease or grace to your daily life. Getting extra rest is frowned upon.
Responsibilities outweighing any chance to attend to the self
I know far too many people for whom their home — the mortgage, the rent, the upkeep, etc. — has become a contributing factor in their inability to nap. Of course there are vastly larger and more powerful factors affecting naps (the exploitation of the working class, physical ailments and disabilities, the manipulation of the housing market to artificially inflate rents, etc.), but even the capacity to resist such problems depends, ironically, on our own sustainability as well-rested individuals and communities. The home represents an ambient, latent power that can point us towards greater rest or towards greater burnout. It’s my hope that everyone’s home can be a part of their sustainable and flourishing life, rather than a detriment to that hope.
I wish I could nap
So in total opposition to “I wish I didn’t have to sleep” that I heard in college, most of my friends now (many of whom are new parents) would love to be able to simply get a full night’s rest. “I wish I could nap” is the new refrain. Hoo boy, that is too high a task for even the most dedicated of realtors. But at least let me offer you this: if it was possible to let your home work latently towards your liberation and health, wouldn’t you want to make that happen?
What I’m into this week
altar, by Kehlani. Vibes, my friends.
the app Things. I’ve tried others, but I keep coming back to this UX. Simple, fast, satisfying. Ironically, even though other productivity apps are more powerful, their complexity and slowness makes it harder for me to get work done. And Things is so cleanly put-together that I get a little dopamine hit every time I get to enjoy one of its tiny, innumerable design flourishes.
Human Robot’s milk tubes. Is this my favorite brewery in America? Perhaps. That they indulge my love of their all-head mini-beers by giving me free ones is a big part of it.
Death Stranding. I don’t have the patience to explain it if you don’t already know what it is. But if you do, let’s talk it over. I’m borrowing a friend’s PS4 for a few more weeks, any other recommendations? tldr; fantastic first 1/3 of the game. Rest wasn’t worth it.
I very nearly named this post “Napsey Hustle,” but I feared that it would 1. be disrespectful to Nipsey, RIP and 2. be too clever by half.
Or not! Just go take a nap!
A Place to Nap